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| Mena Darnell, Shantel, Gilda Golden, Jamie Montoya, Heather Fontaine (my drag mom) in the middle (yes that's my real hair). Cast of Tremors in N Tampa. |
"The thief comes only in order to kill, steal and destroy," Jesus said, "But I have come that they may have and enjoy their life, have it in abundance, to the full, until it overflows!" John 10:10
"Last night the show was just terrible Jamie...terrible!" Heather Fontaine (my drag mom) complained to me over the phone that Saturday morning, "The lesbians found out that you and Christian were fired because the club owners couldn't afford to pay you 25 dollars a show and they were p*ssed! Can you please come back tonight and perform? I have to go out of town on a gig and I will let you do your first solo? I can't pay you, but you can do your first solo...what do you say Jamie....please?"
I had been ready for years for this very moment and I was poised and ready to go. It was my very first solo performance ever in a professional gay cabaret show, and it just so happened be in front of the elite of Tampa that night (with all the press and every club owner from South Beach to Jacksonville in attendance).
I said a prayer (during the stage blackout) before my number. I stood on a winding platform (waiting for the first piano cue) that opens the power ballad "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" and I began my descent. I slowly turned in a circle like an unwinding ballerina doll as the song unfolded....my expressions changing from make believe into human.
I had grown my own hair out long (because I sweated out wigs while dancing) and I had my lips and cheeks filled with silicone. I was known as a boy queen, the only one on cast without real t*tt*es and d*ck. My boobs were fake. Under Heather and Gilda's guidance, I looked like fish which meant I looked like a real girl and could pass.
God was with me as I danced, cried and screamed. I even lit my hands on fire underneath a black light as the crowd watched in awe. All those years at the nudist resort, all those lost talent shows, all the rehearsals I attended for free finally paid off.
During the bridge, I spun in circles and danced with glowing white cloths representing the soul of my lost lover...and when it was over, I made my way back to the winding platform......leaving in my wake, fresh tears from performing my heart out.
As the song closed with Bonnie Tyler whimpering, every eye in the room was frozen in my grip and no one moved or breathed. I slowly raised my hands in one triumphant ballerina pose as I began winding back up like a toy (the way I began the number). I knew something special had happened.
So did the crowd....
From the dressing room I could hear the audience chanting Jamie!!! Jamie!!! Jamie!!! Jamie!!! Jamie!!! Jamie!!!! I looked at Gilda Golden (the emcee extraordinaire) horrified, I didn't know what to do? I had never had a call back before and this was the first encore ever in the Legends show by their own back up dancer who was fired the night before because of budget.
Before I continue, this is not Legends the nightclub in Raleigh NC. No this was Tremors in North Tampa in a cabaret show with true walking Legends in the profession. I had just been fired right after Friday rehearsal the day prior because our bar managers snorted all their money and couldn't pay me. I trusted God that Friday night sitting home alone crying, and it's because of Him that I was able to stop the show the next night.
Brian burst in the dressing room so proud! "I love you Jamie!!! You did it!!! Go back on, they are calling you!!! You did it!!! I love you I am so proud!!" He was beside himself with pride, knowing the sacrifice I went through for years for a shot at the big time. I never felt more loved by him.
I don't remember going back on for my encore (though I did), but I do remember all those queens gnashing their teeth that little Miss Jamie Montoya stole their show. When I came back offstage from the call back, there was a pound at the dressing room door. Before we could answer it, this big, fat, man like lesbian came barging in screaming.
She scared me for a moment until she caught her breath and spoke out loud. Excitedly, and in front of all the entertainers she said, "Jamie, if the bar owners can't pay you 25 dollars a show, the lesbians will." She handed me a 50 dollar bill and left with every queen in the dressing room jaws to the floor.
That is how I was hired as a cast member at Sharp A's in Gulfport, and became a headlining entertainer throughout Florida for female impersonation. I knew my drag career would eventually have an expiration date, but for now I was on top of the world.
After enjoying a successful run for several years, I accidentally tried rock one night on the way home from a show. I didn't know what rock was, only that you put it in a straight pipe called a stem, and you smoked it. It was only then that I learned that rock was a demon straight from hell sent only in order to kill steal and destroy. Rock was short for rock cocaine, which really meant crack...and it stole my career. However, I think God used it as a road map back to Him and the call on my life for Christian music.
That's all I listened to at the time Rich Mullins, Sandi Patty, Amy Grant, Michael W Smith...you name it, I loved it if it was contemporary Christian music. I was told once that I could never do a song in a show with word Jesus in it. That was sign number two (after experimenting with crack sign #1) that my female impersonation career was ending.
That Christmas I visited my parents (who I thought had disowned me for 7 years for being gay) for the first time in the town they had moved too. It was in North Carolina and I was so proud of myself coming to visit since I was such a success.. However, (secretly inside) I was struggling with a fresh crack habit and missed being a part of Christian music singing and playing the piano.
One afternoon, somewhere in the back roads between Fuquay-Varina and Cary...possibly on Old Johnson Pond Road, I had an epiphany (thanks to my mom). As we were headed into Cary to go to the business they owned my mom said one sentence that changed my life.
"Jamie, how does doing drag make God happy?"
I knew what she meant, I went to Western Michigan University and the University of Wisconsin as a vocal performance major. I had no right to be lip-synching. I took over 14 years of piano lessons, was a teenage church pianist, and had a calling on my life to lead worship and be a recording artist.
That one sentence changed my life, and when I returned to Florida, I canceled all my contracts, became a no one and moved to Orlando.
That is what the final part of this series "What Love Can Do (part 3)" is about. How God found me where I was, picked me up, cleaned me up, forgave me for the drugs and giving my worship to something other than Him, healed me and made me into what he wanted me to be. It's about how I became a songwriter, a recording artist and a Contemporary Worship Leader though his grace, faith and a prayer.
I said a prayer (during the stage blackout) before my number. I stood on a winding platform (waiting for the first piano cue) that opens the power ballad "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" and I began my descent. I slowly turned in a circle like an unwinding ballerina doll as the song unfolded....my expressions changing from make believe into human.
I had grown my own hair out long (because I sweated out wigs while dancing) and I had my lips and cheeks filled with silicone. I was known as a boy queen, the only one on cast without real t*tt*es and d*ck. My boobs were fake. Under Heather and Gilda's guidance, I looked like fish which meant I looked like a real girl and could pass.
God was with me as I danced, cried and screamed. I even lit my hands on fire underneath a black light as the crowd watched in awe. All those years at the nudist resort, all those lost talent shows, all the rehearsals I attended for free finally paid off.
During the bridge, I spun in circles and danced with glowing white cloths representing the soul of my lost lover...and when it was over, I made my way back to the winding platform......leaving in my wake, fresh tears from performing my heart out.
As the song closed with Bonnie Tyler whimpering, every eye in the room was frozen in my grip and no one moved or breathed. I slowly raised my hands in one triumphant ballerina pose as I began winding back up like a toy (the way I began the number). I knew something special had happened.
So did the crowd....
From the dressing room I could hear the audience chanting Jamie!!! Jamie!!! Jamie!!! Jamie!!! Jamie!!! Jamie!!!! I looked at Gilda Golden (the emcee extraordinaire) horrified, I didn't know what to do? I had never had a call back before and this was the first encore ever in the Legends show by their own back up dancer who was fired the night before because of budget.
Before I continue, this is not Legends the nightclub in Raleigh NC. No this was Tremors in North Tampa in a cabaret show with true walking Legends in the profession. I had just been fired right after Friday rehearsal the day prior because our bar managers snorted all their money and couldn't pay me. I trusted God that Friday night sitting home alone crying, and it's because of Him that I was able to stop the show the next night.
Brian burst in the dressing room so proud! "I love you Jamie!!! You did it!!! Go back on, they are calling you!!! You did it!!! I love you I am so proud!!" He was beside himself with pride, knowing the sacrifice I went through for years for a shot at the big time. I never felt more loved by him.
I don't remember going back on for my encore (though I did), but I do remember all those queens gnashing their teeth that little Miss Jamie Montoya stole their show. When I came back offstage from the call back, there was a pound at the dressing room door. Before we could answer it, this big, fat, man like lesbian came barging in screaming.
She scared me for a moment until she caught her breath and spoke out loud. Excitedly, and in front of all the entertainers she said, "Jamie, if the bar owners can't pay you 25 dollars a show, the lesbians will." She handed me a 50 dollar bill and left with every queen in the dressing room jaws to the floor.
That is how I was hired as a cast member at Sharp A's in Gulfport, and became a headlining entertainer throughout Florida for female impersonation. I knew my drag career would eventually have an expiration date, but for now I was on top of the world.
After enjoying a successful run for several years, I accidentally tried rock one night on the way home from a show. I didn't know what rock was, only that you put it in a straight pipe called a stem, and you smoked it. It was only then that I learned that rock was a demon straight from hell sent only in order to kill steal and destroy. Rock was short for rock cocaine, which really meant crack...and it stole my career. However, I think God used it as a road map back to Him and the call on my life for Christian music.
That's all I listened to at the time Rich Mullins, Sandi Patty, Amy Grant, Michael W Smith...you name it, I loved it if it was contemporary Christian music. I was told once that I could never do a song in a show with word Jesus in it. That was sign number two (after experimenting with crack sign #1) that my female impersonation career was ending.
That Christmas I visited my parents (who I thought had disowned me for 7 years for being gay) for the first time in the town they had moved too. It was in North Carolina and I was so proud of myself coming to visit since I was such a success.. However, (secretly inside) I was struggling with a fresh crack habit and missed being a part of Christian music singing and playing the piano.
One afternoon, somewhere in the back roads between Fuquay-Varina and Cary...possibly on Old Johnson Pond Road, I had an epiphany (thanks to my mom). As we were headed into Cary to go to the business they owned my mom said one sentence that changed my life.
"Jamie, how does doing drag make God happy?"
I knew what she meant, I went to Western Michigan University and the University of Wisconsin as a vocal performance major. I had no right to be lip-synching. I took over 14 years of piano lessons, was a teenage church pianist, and had a calling on my life to lead worship and be a recording artist.
That one sentence changed my life, and when I returned to Florida, I canceled all my contracts, became a no one and moved to Orlando.
That is what the final part of this series "What Love Can Do (part 3)" is about. How God found me where I was, picked me up, cleaned me up, forgave me for the drugs and giving my worship to something other than Him, healed me and made me into what he wanted me to be. It's about how I became a songwriter, a recording artist and a Contemporary Worship Leader though his grace, faith and a prayer.
